open vs. closed embryo adoption?

[waiting4baby]

My husband and I are prayerfully considering embryo adoption after struggling with unexplained infertility for almost 3 years. We initially thought we would choose a closed adoption because we have some concerns about open adoptions. After reading several testimonials and stories of others' adoptions, it seems to me that an open adoption might be more beneficial for the child's (children's) future. What are your suggestions and is it true that an open adoption costs significantly more than closed?

[reg.finger]

There are advantages and disadvantages to both closed and open options. Several couples experiencing the open option have come to conferences and testified to a very happy relationship. It helps a lot when it comes to telling the child about his/her origins. With a closed approach you might tell the child, and then the child has no place to go to find out about his/her origins. On the other hand some donor families are uncomfortable knowing about the child, and really don't want to know if the adopting family experiences a divorce. Some adopting families would rather move on without continuing contact with the donor family. What is important is to explore all options and decide which factors are most important to you. You will be matched with a family that desires the same degree of openness that you do.

I put the cost question to our embryologist at National Embryo Donation Center, Carol Sommerfelt, and she replied as follows:

The cost for Open is higher but not due to NEDC fees. What does make it higher is the cost of finalization of the Open agreement between the donating and receiving couple and the follow up support involved with that process. Those fees are set and charged by Bethany Services as their social worker mediates the open agreements. They are much more qualified to perform this service. The cost difference is around $3000 and that includes mediating up to two open donor agreements and support afterwards. The best way to see that break down is to visit the Bethany web site and go under their embryo adoption pages and search for their fees.

The first link is to the adoption agreement form. The second is the Bethany web site's extensive Q & A. I am told that these agreements are legally binding. You can also see my response to "Jaycee" on the forum under the topic "Contract Agreement".

http://www.embryodonation.org/pdf/Gener ... option.pdf

http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWW ... 880073385F

Thanks!

Reg Finger, MD, MPH